Obnoxious Hugh

Years ago in the bike club was a guy who rode with us nicknamed Obnoxious Hugh. The nickname is quite appropriate. Thankfully heterosexual, he is a true loser in his quest for a woman. He walks dogs and cuts children's hair. I'm not sure in what order he does this in but that's it folks.

He has this laugh that is completely obnoxious. Like clearing his nose at the same time, it comes out a sneer with snot. He came over today. His first act was to show his large butt to the dogs. The dogs sniffed. I looked away and thought, what next. Next was calling the dogs as he held his rump up. If it wasn't for the fact the dogs are both under ten pounds I think one of them might have mounted. Buster for sure. The clock is ticking, it is warm and I'm getting a queasy feeling.

Obnoxious Hugh pulls out some grass he scored at one of the dispensaries. I get a bong for him, hoping it will stop him from any more displays of his large ass. The dogs did like it though, the large ass and he proceeds to get stoned. Whatever it takes to keep him from talking is fine, hoping he'll smoke himself into a stooper. But he doesn't. He does get a call from someone who wants him to walk their dog. That's good because he is now showing us his collection of photos. If there is anything more obnoxious than someone telling you how great their photos are and how well he can digital enhance scenes of sand cleaners in the early light at the beach I would like to know.

He has no current girlfriend. His old girlfriend dumped him and she was no prize either. He now walks dogs, cuts hair and talks to anyone stupid enough to answer their door on a Sunday afternoon.

I do have a soft spot for him. As a teenager, he watched his father commit suicide on the apartment monitor. The father rang the apartment, Hugh clicked it on and his dad said, watch this, and then put a gun in his mouth and fired while his young son watched on the monitor. It would have to shake anybody up, I would think.

Hugh is a Jew. He is balding with a gut, a sneer for a laugh and no woman, not much dick that I could see but he does appeal to dogs and children. Funny how that works out.