While I was attending the chickens this morning, Drag Queen came out to inspect her trash cans. She was wearing an orange halter top to keep her tits in. But because she does not have much tit to speak of, the halter sort of squished them on her chest like two soft ice cream scoops. Her ass was sticking out in lime green capri pants and her make-up was a bit better, seeing how it was morning and she probably didn't have time to slather on the pancake yet.
"I do admire how you stack your trash." I said standing next to the hen house.
She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and blew a smoke ring. "Yeah, I can look down the alley and size up the neighborhood trash in two seconds."
"I've always said, you know your trash."
"Yeah, well I've been around trash all my fuckin' life." She spat in the middle of the alley and let out a fart. Her green capris hardly moved being stretched so tight across her ass. "I told Henye, just the other day, that no one in this alley keeps trash like I do."
She scratched her left armpit where a rash was healing from abuse from a worn out razor. "And do you know what he said?"
"No, what?"
"He said no one knows trash like I do."
"Damn if that ain't the truth." I said and walked over to the end of our property line. "Say, all that sunlight that comes in from where Hag cut her bushes and trees back. Does that bother you?"
She had opened a blue barrel and was slamming the plastic sides to jiggle the contents. "Are you kidding me? We love the sunlight. Can't get enough of it. It's like the old country once again."
"I'm amazed Hag cut all the vegetation down."
Drag Queen opened the next barrel and looked inside. Then she slammed it shut and turned to me. "That bitch needs to see the light of day, we came to a kind of an agreement," She said slamming a fist into her palm.
"Oh, I see," I said and looked up at where the great elm was partially shading her east wall. "I guess you don't mind that elm tree of Lady of the Forest though shading you a bit.
"Huh?" she said and looked at the elm and where the very top had shaded the lower half of her east wall. "That fuckin' bitch. She's gotta a lot of nerve."
"I think she needs the great elm's power."
Drag Queen scratched again at the rash in her arm pit. I could see what looked like boar bristles sprouting among red-crimson dots of rash between her scratching fingers while she contemplated how much shade was against the eastern wall of her house. "She does huh, well I'll have to talk to her about that."
"You know, I'm sure she would love to visit with you and your eunuch. How is the eunuch?"
"That fat slug? I don't know why I bought it. Does play the flute well don't it?"
"That it does and I bet Lady of the Forest would think the eunuch was the cutest thing she ever saw. Especially if you dressed it up like a big fat baby and fed it sticky things. It could lean against the great elm while you chatted up Lady of the Forest.
"It whines so when I dress it up. But you know, with some fatty sticky sticks, I could lure it into dressing like a big-ass dumb baby."
I think Drag Queen was getting the idea of how to use the eunuch. It was always stressing something where ever it sat or laid. I could see the lights go on and Drag Queen giving Lady of the Forest a going over because she was careless how she placed her barrels in the alley.
"I bet some hours of that fat eunuch eating while it leaned on the great elm would stress it enough to give up its leaves."
"Hell, if that damn dough baby doesn't just topple it over right then. What if that fuckin' tree hit Village Idiot? Wouldn't that be something to see." Her eyes brightened up even with the creases of runny black mascara, I could she was enjoying this idea.
I knew there was some reason why I liked Drag Queen other than all the trash she knows.
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