Mom's Miracle

Mom loves attention. Loves it and her obsession for sacrificing herself stems from that love for attention. So the bitch got herself in a corner she's having a hard time getting out of. It's all over her blood pressure. And besides that problem she is a diabetic. Now, in real world time, Mom doesn't have bad blood pressure and she doesn't have diabetes. She has an attention disorder. In that she needs attention.

She fainted at the boyfriend's place, hit something on the way down and went to emergency where they said her blood pressure was real low. She says she takes medicine for the low blood pressure but there is no medication for low blood pressure, at least nothing that doesn't increase your sodium intake.

Now, I've seen Mom at work. I've seen her decline to eat something like non-fat yogurt and fruit, not cake and pastries that, heaven forbid, might put weight on before a long bicycle ride. She does this so that at about mile ten she needs to stop, rest and eat, because if she doesn't, she faints. The trouble is, the rest of us ate and don't need to stop and if she had something to eat before she left, she wouldn't need to stop ten miles into the ride either. I have told her point blank, to eat something now because I don't want her passing out later, or I won't ride. That's when she sacrifices herself and eats the god-damn poison yogurt and fresh fruit.

The last miracle of miracles was the cure of her diabetes, suddenly she went from Type Two diabetes to not having it at all. Yet she found a way around not having diabetes, she has allergies. Want to know what she's allergic to? Well you can't know, it varies, but they all bring instant death. One day it was a gardenia bush in the garden, a week before that it was the cat that never moved in but she had a reaction to some of its hairs that must have came in and almost died. All her allergies cause instant death. There is no swelling of the tongue, hives, boils, falling out of hair, or anal leakage. It is dropping dead period, or near death when she survives to tell you about it, and so far--always seem to survive.

So she tells me she can now ride her bike. Her blood pressure is normal even though the doctor hasn't signed off on it. And rest assured, the doc always signs off to witnessing a bona-fide miracle.

But I warned her, "Now what if you fell riding with us before the doc gave you the okay? You would be hurt and we would have to deal with the ambulance and your  safety. Do you think that's wise to do?"

Mom thought, "I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and I'll go to that but I'll stop by and say hello." 

I'm sure that another miracle will have occurred.