Hugh the Jew to be precise. It could be said, that sounds a taint anti-Semitic well maybe but that's what Hugh calls Hugh. We call him obnoxious Hugh, and one reason why is that Jew always comes up. I'm a Jew this or that. Okay, I got them next door, fresh from the Holy Land and yeah, they're pretty weird I grant you but is that a Jewish thing?
Now, when I meet someone who is gay and is a Republican, it's like, What? And I know this absolute queen that voted for Bush--twice. But no matter how freaky gays can come they like their Broadway Musicals. It's a must to be gay. You never have to touch another same-sex person in your life but if you like Broadway musicals you have a gay gene in there. Now a log cabin girl may be obnoxious, they may be gay, but they don't have it tattooed on their forehead like Hugh does.
When, Mr. I'm-so-Jew-who-is-Hugh likes to come over I can't blame him. He eats like he hadn't a meal in four days and drinks beer as if it was going to be banned and smokes weed like a forest fire consumes pine trees but I'm sorry, you're obnoxious. And Obnoxious Hugh can only come over when I'm really bored and afterwards wonder 'Why in hell did I invite him?' The show perhaps? He is obnoxious and knows it and he tries at first to control it but sooner or later it comes out. Usually sooner and then I have to ask him to leave. He's use to the drill. Once he goes to far, you can't get him back and the only option is to have him leave. Others must have asked him to leave as well because he does leave, he gets a tad whiny but leaves.
Example: And hold your nose because this is gross but true. Recently I had fixed lunch when he was over, he ate so fast that he began to choke. His idea was to cough up all the food right in front of us. Not take his disgusting habit to the lawn like the dog is suppose to do. No, we'll just cough up the fur ball of food right here. Does it stop there? Oh, no, as soon as he got the wad of food out, he went back to cramming his mouth and I could see another food fur ball flying.
"Time to go Hugh."
He knows the drill. As soon as he got the wad down enough he finished his beer in one gulp and left.
He told me he doesn't have a lot of friends. I can see why but he knows too I like oddballs. After all, what good are boring people?
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