Gadzooks

Wally and I went to dinner with friends in Hollywood. A place called, Off Vine. It wasn't the only thing off Vine, there is the Spotlight, that's off Vine in another direction. And of course, both Off Vine and the Spotlight are a bit off.

For those that don't know about the Spotlight, it is the oldest gay bar that actually is in Hollywood. Not only has it been there for quite a while it is a hustler bar. The clientele of the Spotlight like 'Fresh Out of Prison' whereas Off Vine's clientele like their dishes, 'Fresh from the Farm".

One of our dinner companions that night likes both.

We took the underground, parking in North Hollywood and taking the subway from there into Hollywood, it looked like rain and its easier parking at the Red Line than trying to find a parking place any way near Vine and Sunset in Hollywood.

That is, at least Bob's excuse. He parked over by the Spotlight. Funny how that worked out. But he always parks over by the Spotlight whenever he asks us to join him for dinner. The other guest was late because he parked somewhere near Vine.

Off Vine is a nice enough place. An old, two story, yellow house from the thirties or forties. You can eat in the front yard on pleasant days. The inside was gutted to fit the kitchen and dinner tables, leaving only the stairs and support walls. The atmosphere is pleasant and so is the variety of clientele. The food is a sort of American Blend. Wild Mushroom Ravioli, Pecan Crusted Breast of Chicken. I had fried calamari, an appetizer dish with a salad. The calamari wasn't quite crisp enough and I suspect frozen before throwing it in the hot oil(a pet peeve of mine). Wally had the mushroom ravioli. I forgot what the others had, I was busy trying to get nonchalantly drunk. Our table was in a very warm section of the building, but Bob likes to see everybody coming and going, he places himself in the, 'Power Chair' as he calls it. That's the chair where you can see everybody and they can see you. I saw two walls, unless I wanted to twist my neck like a bird of prey.  And we all came with jackets and hats with no place to put them but on our chairs, still keeping us warm. I was sweating in the middle of the meal.

"Oh, there's so-and-so." Bob would comment from the Power Chair. The rest of us would careen our necks around to see whoever it was that entered or was being seated. Bob knows quite a lot of people because he never-ever cooks. Seriously, he doesn't boil water, make coffee or butter toast. It is all done at cafes and diners. His stove at home has plates stacked high from swap meets and thrift stores. Name brand junk that he collects and pack-rats away. Except for his bedroom, which I only saw once. That room was filled with stacks of DVD porno and a very large Sony television, the old tube version. The bed was unmade and the house was too, in that everywhere, were stacks of something.

Bob has a taste for rough edges in men. He likes porn houses in the late of night, one in particular, near a fire station that caters to married guys that like a good blow-job in the early morning hours before work and apparently, there a few at the fire station that enjoy the nearby porn house. I asked Bob if he would look to see if they carry, Sarge and the Sailor Boy, and if they did to buy one and announce in a loud, freshly fucked throat, how much he enjoyed this particular author's work, saying my name outloud with clear diction. Of course he didn't, what straight construction guy or firemen would want to read the latest in erotica?

After our dinner, we all divvied upped cash for the bill, paying our share. But when we got up to leave, Bob went back in for a moment. He didn't forget his hat, he took the money and paid the bill with his credit card. It's a good credit card, but now he has money for the Spotlight to buy a hustler. A hundred bucks will get you what you want at the Spotlight. "How much is that on the menu?" will vary at Off Vine but at the Spotlight, dick fresh from Central Jail is always a hundred bucks.

If you wait, like Bob does, until near closing it is like a Stock Market exchange, and that is where Bob made his money early in life, and he is still very good at it, getting the best meat at the lowest price.

Yes, dinner with friends. What could be more entertaining?