Muslims In The Hood

Pulled From The Net

We got em. A lot of them, in fact it feels like living in the Middle East. Jews from Israel scattered here and there like raisins in oatmeal and Muslims everywhere else. Mostly the Muslims are from Iran that are around us. I'm taking it that they're a few Muslims thrown in from elsewhere, it's hard to tell, they all talk like there's rocks in their mouth.

Some years back, when Wally could still walk in the hood, we noticed a lot of Middle Eastern style construction done to the WWll housing tract homes built here after the war. Granted, the homes aren't much to talk about. Every forth home is exactly like your home, back then. But times change and with it enhancements in the houses. 

You got a few from the funk era of the seventies, they added wood stoves or wood siding and the, 'Must Have' hot tub. Some added on the back of the house or a second floor. A few Spanish style, but now it's pillars at the entrance. A must have if you're selling to anyone from the Middle East. Pillars and lots of cement where grass use to grow. You can have, swank, charisma, you can have charm for the house but, if doesn't come with two pillars on the sides of the front doorway it's  a shit-hole to anyone from the land of the Gods. I think that's where it all stems from, pillars at the doorway to their gods. The old country is full of oil, desert and old dead gods in houses of worship with pillars at the front door.

You don't hear much from them, the gods, they use to be pretty active a few thousands years ago, but not now. In fact it's so bad that if you're from the Middle East and you want the god to do something, like kill someone you don't like, they won't. It leaves the practitioner of the religion perplexed but obviously the god wants this other guy dead, and since the god does, it's okay to kill them in the name of whatever Middle Eastern deity needs filling in.

I'm sure they're all peaceful. The guy that parks across the street with a Lexus, glued figures of,I-don't-know-what-the-hell-they-are on the engine's hood with Israeli and American flags circling the scene seems like a sure nut case, he does stick out, but there are others, the not so obvious ones. The ones that make pipe bombs in the garage with a jihad burka bitch by his side. Those are the ones that worry me. And I'm sure the hood has them. Every fucking nut job comes here because the rents are low for these pillared homes of the Middle East.

So we have all the making for a Perfect Storm. Jews from Israel and Muslims from Iran and who-knows-where. All stewing here waiting for something to chew on.

But there is hope. Yesterday, at Trader, they had pork tamales in red sauce. Pork is still available at the local market, and I cook it every chance I get. Let its delicious scent fill the air and wander by the nose of those who abhor the thought. My contribution to the mix. They build bombs, I cook pork slow and methodical in our, much changed hood waiting for one of these holy warriors to go fucking ape.