The Meanest Witch that Ever Was.

There once was a witch so mean she had only stone soup to eat. Nothing alive could stand to be around her. Not even the trees and ferns of the forest could stand living nearby, and because of that it left her cottage barren, save for the rocks in the earth. On occasion though, some poor hapless soul would wander to close and then end up flavoring the broth of her stone soup. She was so mean that whatever she caught would flavor a soup more than once before she ate them whole.

In the same kingdom lived a goblin who loved everyone he met. If it wasn't for being very, very ugly, as goblins tend to be, he would be the most popular creature in the kingdom. Still, some people and creatures of the forest, took the time to know him.  Once they got over how terribly horrible he looked, which took some doing, they found him quite the fun fellow.

One spring day the village in the forest of this kingdom decided it would be good to hold a fair in a nearby meadow. Everyone was invited, there would be booths for merchants from all over to show their goods and a farmer's market with baked breads, pies and cookies. People could spend the day to get to know their neighbors and shop for things not found in the village.

As word spread, far and wide, the fair grew and grew each year. It was the biggest event the kingdom hosted and with the word spread among all the people that came, and all the goods that could be had, even the meanest witch got word albeit from a tasty victim.

The goblin had a kissing booth. Quite popular because young people would dare each other to kiss such a hideous creature, and as always, the goblin would make friends with his easy, laughing ways. He had the booth not so much to make money, although it was nice, but to show people it's best not to judge someone by how they look until you get to know them. Some of his friends had said he was 'kinda cute in an ugly sort of way.' It always made him smile.

The meanest witch ever thought how delightful to be so mean that she could ruin the whole event. A catastrophe so terrible that no one would ever come to the fair again. It would be her meanest most horrible act ever, and that made her smile.

The day the fair opened was the best day of the whole year. The meadow was thick and green with wildflowers. The sun shown the brightest, and the sky the bluest that anyone could ever remember. The fair launched kites and flags to flutter and play in a gentle breeze that kept the air cool while the sun warmed. Merchants polished and painted their booths before donning them with wares from every corner in the world to entice even the most miserly to buy. Minstrels gathered here and there to coax those listening to have a pint of ale and a song. It was so delightful and everyone very excited to go to the fair that day. So was the meanest witch and the ugliest goblin.

When everyone was at the fair, and all enjoying themselves, the witch showed up. She spilled the drinks of children to make them cry, turned wildflowers brown and dead, changed the pitch of the musicians instruments so they sounded like cats fighting and even cut the strings on the kites flying in the wind, she was that mean.

People began to avoid her as quick as possible, many leaving the fair in fear of her meanness as she walked around the fair grounds pulling down shelves of merchandise and overturning booths. But when she got to the ugliest goblin's kissing booth she stopped.

She stared at the sign above his booth that read, "Do You Dare To Kiss The Ugliest Goblin?"

The witch had to ponder this, because she had never kissed anyone let alone a goblin. It came to her mind that this would be the perfect topping to her day, to kiss a goblin and he would never kiss anyone again.

She gathered her dress and walked up to the booth to peer inside. What she saw was the hideous goblin smiling at her and then he threw her a kiss. She stumbled back in shock.

Once recovered from the blown kiss the witch thought of turning him into a toad but he was uglier than a toad so that wouldn't do. She thought for a moment before she approached the booth again. When she did, he winked at her. That got her anger stirred up.

The witch gathered herself up and walked up to the booth once again,"You're the ugliest creature on earth. How can you live with yourself being so ugly? Why don't you jump off a cliff, you hideous thing you."

The goblin laughed and then patted the chair next him, "Come here and let the most hideous thing you ever saw give you a kiss."

"Kiss you," she said, "Why I wouldn't kiss a creature so ugly as you. You could give me warts."

"You're afraid aren't you. The meanest witch that ever was is afraid of kissing an ugly goblin."

Now the witch was really flustered. "I'm not afraid of you. You should be afraid of me. I'm so mean nobody likes me."

"I like you," and with that he blew her another kiss.

"Stop doing that this instant."

"I won't until you kiss me." Then he blew her several more kisses."

The witch grew so furious that storm clouds formed overhead and lightening flashed. She stomped her feet and the ground turned black as coal before she humphed and puffed herself to twice her size.

Once the witch got control of  herself and straightened her dress, she turned again to the goblin, "Alright, I'll kiss you and watch if you don't turn to stone because I'm so mean."

"Go ahead and try if you like."

The goblin patted the seat next to him and beckoned the witch to sit for a kiss. She smiled and sat next to him. He puckered his big slimy green lips with warts and moles before he leaned over and planted a kiss right on the witch's lips.

At first she almost gagged, feeling the warty lips and the slime that oozed from them. But then something strange happened, the goblin's mouth felt warm and comforting. She felt a strange tingle in her toes that went all the way up to the top of her head. Her witch's head felt a bit dizzy and her witch heart beat faster than ever before.

The goblin broke off the kiss and stared, dreamy eyed at the witch as she smiled at him. They had fallen in love. Suddenly, where the earth beneath her feet had turned black, it now was green with fresh grass. The storm clouds above vanished and everyone seemed more at ease at the fair.

The two spent the day at the fair making wreaths of flowers for the children and dancing to the music. They spent that day and the day after together. They hugged and laughed and played with the town's children whom they taught lessons in making the world a better place.

And above the cottage where the smell of mushroom and wildflower soup floated in the air, was a sign. 'All you need is Love.' That's where the ugliest goblin and the meanest witch lived for ever after.