Mom is hitting it off with the new boyfriend and that's what's wrong. the guy has a house with a backyard full of weeds. Mom likes nothing better than a weedy yard. Now I'll have to pull my own damn weeds cause she is over there pulling his.
And the relationship looks like it's going to last. He is a nice guy and they look happy with each other. Mom is even thinking of putting in a vegetable garden at his place. Tomatoes, turnips, all that shit, so all I've got is Mexican Monkey and ain't that the shits. I mean he is okay, once you get him to calm down enough to do anything, but that means you have to pull his tail until he does. Monkeys hate to have their tails pulled and he screams and screeches, putting up such a fuss when I do. But if I didn't, he would burn the place down. Already he has cut the electric cord twice trimming the hedges. The Christmas crap was thrown in the boxes so next year it will be hell to untangle it all and figure out where what goes with what.
What am I to do? I need Mom for the garden but the boyfriend is 'gifted', as Mom says, in the dick department, so it will hard to entice her to pull weeds here when she can pull the monkey at his place. I'll have to think this over, there must be some incentive for Mom to come back here for the weeding. Something to perk her interest, I'll just have to think about it some more.
Stories from living in Los Angeles
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