The Chimes Of Time

It's official. The rapture will take place on May 21. If you miss the rapture that's okay. October 21 will be Judgement day. What is the importance of this?

Well, May 21 2011 falls on a Saturday and October 21 is a Friday. This turns out to be very significant. Notice how it doesn't fall on a Monday for either date?

I hate Mondays. Not as much as I use to but it is a bothersome day. Say for instance the rapture does occur on Saturday. You don't go to heaven but the plumber does. That makes calling the plumber on Monday when the rates are cheaper impossible. He won't be coming down being in rapture. High as a fucking kite and what good is a plumber then?

Then Judgement day on all days a Friday. That means long lines for the judge. You got your Jews taking Saturday off and the Christians on Sunday, so all us sinners are in line first. By the time Jesus, and I don't mean the gardener, but He who never sleeps or slumbers, and imagine what kind of judge that's going to make, will be dispensing justice to everyone in the world.

It's going to be busy and notice, just before Halloween. Now ain't that the shits. What the fuck is going on up there with these gods? We have a great party in West Hollywood that day and I have seen myself god, Jesus, Mary and those consorting apostles all there. What the fuck are they thinking of?

Have it in the summer at the beach. Most people won't have much clothes on anyway that day and it will be a lot easier on everyone.

"Hey you with the red hair smoking weed. Get your fat ass downstairs."  It's simple, with fewer clothes, people will have a harder time dressing for it. You know how those Christians love to dress up for a good judgement. The pope has all those robes and lace and those cute booties to put on. The Jews, hell their still waiting for the Messiah and it's no wonder, who the fuck would want to hang out with dudes who think a wood box tied to their head is sexy.


"Love to Jesus, but shit man, I gotta go back home and pack. Know what I mean? Say how much suntan lotion should I take?"

So mark your calenders for those dates. It's important because when they come and go just like every other day, you can at least count on getting the fucking plumber when it isn't time and a half.