Blow Wind, Crack Your Cheeks

Wednesday is a ride day for me. Except when the weather is foul and I consider thirty mile an hour gusts to be very foul. There is a saying among cyclists, "The wind and hills are your friends for they make you stronger." And they do too, except they also make you crazy.

Crazy is a good word to define people who get on a bicycle for enjoyment. I have met a lot of eccentric folk but none more than those that ride bicycles. The editor of our bicycle club's newspaper who is an arch-conservative, said on a ride while I was with him that the reason so many people lost their lives when  hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans was they didn't want to leave because they were afraid to miss their welfare checks. Honest truth, and I already loathed the man but this put a new twist on my loathing of him.
When I questioned him on the validity of his statement, he firmly stood by it. Like all neo-cons, he gets his facts from Becks and Limbaughs in this world, where truth gets in the way of their mis-information package.

But he isn't the only wacko on a bike, there are plenty more of them, for instance the guy that started the flurry over invasive airport security with his famous, "Don't touch my junk," line.  This is from a guy that races bicycles on the weekends. Ever see a dude in Lycra? Well there's not much to miss and if he didn't want anyone touching his junk, all he had to do was show up at airport security in his bike jersey and Lycra shorts. You can see the head of someones dick in them so well you can tell if they are cut or un-cut.

We once rode with a dude we named feather-head. He raised chickens and would stick feathers from the birds in his helmet and I'm sure, ass. He also wore red shorts and everytime he saw a girl that turned him on would sport a hard-on. It stuck out like a dog's dick. Red, because of the color of his Lycra shorts, inflamed and gross. Really, this guy has a face that no mother could love, he had to be hatched.  Yellow teeth and there were at least sixty of them when he opened his alien trap.

Yet, there are some actually sane people who get on a bike, but you can tell the sane ones from the crazies, they don't ride when the weather is foul.