I Have An Obnoxious Friend

Hugh the Jew to be precise. It could be said, that sounds a taint anti-Semitic well maybe but that's what Hugh calls Hugh. We call him obnoxious Hugh, and one reason why is that Jew always comes up. I'm a Jew this or that. Okay, I got them next door, fresh from the Holy Land and yeah, they're pretty weird I grant you but is that a Jewish thing?

Now, when I meet someone who is gay and is a Republican, it's like, What? And I know this absolute queen that voted for Bush--twice. But no matter how freaky gays can come they like their Broadway Musicals. It's a must to be gay. You never have to touch another same-sex person in your life but if you like Broadway musicals you have a gay gene in there. Now a log cabin girl may be obnoxious, they may be gay, but they don't have it tattooed on their forehead like Hugh does.

When, Mr. I'm-so-Jew-who-is-Hugh likes to come over I can't blame him. He eats like he hadn't a meal in four days and drinks beer as if it was going to be banned and smokes weed like a forest fire consumes pine trees but I'm sorry, you're obnoxious. And Obnoxious Hugh can only come over when I'm really bored and afterwards wonder 'Why in hell did I invite him?' The show perhaps? He is obnoxious and knows it and  he tries at first to control it but sooner or later it comes out. Usually sooner and then I have to ask him to leave. He's use to the drill. Once he goes to far, you can't get him back and the only option is to have him leave. Others must have asked him to leave as well because he does leave, he gets a tad whiny but leaves.

Example: And hold your nose because this is gross but true.  Recently I had fixed lunch when he was over, he ate so fast that he began to choke. His idea was to cough up all the food right in front of us. Not take his disgusting habit to the lawn like the dog is suppose to do. No, we'll just cough up the fur ball of food right here. Does it stop there? Oh, no, as soon as he got the wad of food out, he went back to cramming his mouth and I could see another food fur ball flying.

"Time to go Hugh."

He knows the drill. As soon as he got the wad down enough he finished his beer in one gulp and left.

He told me he doesn't have a lot of friends. I can see why but he knows too I like oddballs. After all, what good are boring people?  

What The Hell

Sometimes life can be very depressing. For instance, sales on Jawbone, from what I gathered on Amazon in book format aren't all that good. A half dozen books so far. There is no indication how much was sold with e-format. The publisher works mostly with e-format books and it is being sold through other outlets, I hope, But it can be a real pin in the balloon effect.

Yet, for comfort, like eating mac and cheese, I turn to writing. I can loose myself in it. Today was a conversation with a raven and one of the witches in my latest work. Ravens love to gossip and there was plenty in today's writing. Then I went to Critique Circle, a new Internet forum and found actual witches.

OMG, I posted on a forum that I was having a tough time getting good critiques on my work. It was a forum discussing, How to attract better Critiques. Okay, I'm asking how and never really getting an answer, just rips into anything I wrote. It was amazing, all these women writers that have their fat asses in the forum wait for the unsuspecting to enter and then tear them up.

Don't try to explain yourself, the PMS bitches are there to rip your balls right off if you do. I like my witches better, they have heart and a bit of mischief thrown in as well.

I'm looking for a Star Bucks to hang out in on occasion.  I'm a bit, I don't know, self conscious? I have weight issues, age issues, dress issues but besides my hang ups I'm thinking, What the Hell, go for it. Take your lazy fat ass to a Star Bucks along with your old Mac Book, buy a coffee and find a chair somewhere that, when you sit your girth on, will break and draw everyone's attention to my suspender & jeans hick look and laugh.  Or, I can, in all my nervousness, spill my drink into my Mac book and destroy everything. Then sit there and wait until the silence ends to look around to see everyone's eyes roll at that stupid idiot wearing suspenders and jeans in a checker shirt that just toasted his old Mac.

But What the Hell, every fucking vacation I have ever planned turned to shit, why worry about a brief encounter at a Star Bucks for a mini vacation be any different?

  

What Can We Do With Mom?

Saturday I asked Gabe to take care of Wally and that gave me the day to play.  And I did, only there was Mom to deal with. My plan was to bike to Hermosa, find an outdoor bar and watch the beach parade go by. Well Mom tried to throw a wrench in the works and wanted to do more miles and hills. Mexican Monkey told her to ride to his house if she wanted more miles, he wanted to cruise as well. Reluctantly she did and we had a very nice breakfast of scrambled eggs and peppers.

The day was beautiful, warm and sunny. The beach bike path wasn't crowded at all and the volleyball games gave us a great jump and jiggle show along the way. In Hermosa we found an outdoor bar that played Reggae and served Sangria by the pitcher. We people watched, drank, talked and then a guy came over and sat down next to Mom. She was once again a seventeen year old prissy school girl. Before that, after lugging sangria, she wanted me to pimp for her. When I told her that would cost her, I don't pimp for free, she thought she'd try it on her own. Only a woman in a fifty some body, it's in nice shape but she is still over fifty, that acts like she was in high school when around the opposite sex isn't going to get laid.

The guy mentioned he was tired and lived nearby and thought of taking a nap.

I said, "Isn't that funny because Mom was thinking the same thing."

Well, Mom giggled and didn't push it after that, he got up with a boner in his shorts and left and Mom said, "He can find me on Facebook."

"How's that?" I asked Mom.

"I told him what high school  I went to and when I graduated."

So after that, we cruised back to the marina, had two bottles of wine at an Italian restaurant and went home.

The next day Mom sent an e-mail out that she wasn't able to ride much on Saturday because I could barely ride from the marina to Hermosa.

Condescending bitch. 
 

The Help

The hood here is pretty strange, but nothing like my friends. Well, one friend in particular. He is on a fixed income and I give him thirty bucks to stay at the house on Wednesday from 8:30 to noon. I take a short bike ride with friends, the same thirty-some mile loop every Wednesday. All he has to do is wait for Wally to finish his cereal, take him to the bathroom and then help him to get back on top of the bed, fully clothed and nap. The only thing I ask of David is to be here in case there is some type of emergency,  fire, earthquake, whatever.

Today's forecast was for the low nineties. I was looking forward to home and sitting in the cooled living room after my bike ride. It had warmed pretty fast after 10.  I left the air-conditioner on, one of those wall units so the living room is very cool, set at 70 and the other rooms, depending on where they're located, are warmer. It's a small house and on hot days its more money to keep it cool but on cooler days I have the air off. It was just under ninety by a hair when we got back from the bike ride. In the patio, where I have misting fans to help cool the area are Wally and David, no fans are on, no misters and the doors to the house were wide open and the air-conditioner was off. Wally's head, when a fly landed, was being smacked by a fly swatter from David's hand and Wally was trying to shoo away what was hitting him on the head. David had a grin on his face.

I was dumb struck. I paid David the thirty while he was ranting about it was too cold in the house. Why he turned off the air and opened the doors and then sat outside taking Wally I have no idea, he said he was saving me money.

David has HIV, he is a long time survivor of the disease. I don't know what his thinking is, it's bizarre at best, mean and almost criminal at worse to put Wally in such a position and to take it upon himself to change our environment to suit what he wanted is very weird.

Gabe is coming next week to stay with Wally, he will be back from Germany and I have learned things from Gabe on how to deal with Wally myself, he has the patience of Job. I'm so upset about this. Every other friend I have talked to thinks it strange, Mom (our female bike friend) and her boyfriend both thought so when they came back with me. Only one other friend said I should give David another chance and talk to him. But I'm not sure if I should talk with David, tell him this is not appropriate behavior or just not ask him to watch Wally, he'll call me if I don't ask him. He needs the thirty to buy gas for his SUV, its a gas guzzler. I want to be careful what I say because I don't think he knows what he did was wrong. How anyone cannot see that and why I would have to tell an adult is a bit baffling. I think Dave has some type of brain malady. I'm serious about that, what he did doesn't sound rational to me.